Prst na čelu

Moderna sredstva komunikacije ljudima daju priliku da niko ni s kim ne priča.
(Modern communication technology provides people an opportunity they talk to no one.)

Penzioneri su najbolje platiše računa. Lako je njima kad su oni u penziji.
(The pensioners are the best bill payers. It is easy for them doing so because elderly collect their pension anyway.)

Kod nas promene na bolje traju više od 30 godina. Ne mogu ni one da dođu preko noći.
(Our dreams of changing the world for the better lasts for more than 30 years. Changes can not come overnight.)

Prst na čelu liči na pištolj.
(The finger on the forehead looks like a gun.)

Nismo mi pali na niske grane, to nam je voda došla do grla.
(We have not gone out of the frying pan into the fire. A water have just come up to our neck.)

U Hrvatskoj govorim srpski. Začuđujuće je u kolikoj meri Hrvati prepoznaju svoj maternji jezik.
(I speak Serbian in Croatia. It is amazing to what extent Croats recognize their own mother tongue.)

Ljubav, brak, žene, seks

  • Otkako mi se raspao brak, počeo sam da spasavam tuđe. (Ever since my marriage broke down I have started to play the first fiddle in somebody else marriage.)
  • Kada sam se kasno sinoć vratio kući, žena me je čekala. Ne sećam se detalja, ali znam da je bilo čupavo. (I got home too late last night and my wife was waiting for me. I can not remember what was going on in detail but I know it was a wee bit hairy up there.)
  • Tek kad sam uplovio u bračne vode žena je počela da talasa. (Just after I got married my wife began to spin me round.)
  • Kad muškarac ženi da prst, ona hoće celu ruku. A kad žena muškarcu da prst, on hoće i ruke i noge. (If a man give a finger to a woman she wants a whole arm. If a woman give a finger to a man he wants both arms and legs.)
  • Emancipovana žena više misli o poslu nego o seksu. Zato što ga tamo ima preko glave. (An emancipated woman thinks more about work than about sex. Because she is all in over her head with.)
  • Čovek je potrošna roba – reče žena. (A man is a mere the consumer goods – says woman.)
  • Moj brak je stabilan kao država. Kod žene je sve po zakonu, a ja tražim rupe. (My marriage is as stable as the state. My wife does everything according to law, I am looking for loopholes.)

Dve strane sveta

S JEDNE STRANE
(FROM ONE SIDE)

  • Za svoju nesreću Srbi u Hrvatskoj su sami krivi.
    Nisu morali baš tu da žive!
    (Serbs in Croatia are to blame for all their woe.
    They did not need to live in there!)
  • Srbi u Hrvatskoj imaju sva građanska i ljudska prava da odu!
    (Serbs have got all civil and human rights to flee Croatia.)
  • U Hrvatskoj nema ugroženih niti obespravljenih.
    Nema više Srba.
    (There are no imperilled and disempowered ones in Croatia any more.
    There are no more Serbs in there either.)
  • Ne mrze svi Hrvati Srbe.
    Ima i onih koji su za to plaćeni.
    (Not all Croats hate Serbs. Some of them are even paid for this.)

S DRUGE STRANE
(FROM THE OTHER SIDE)

  • Protjerali smo skoro sve Srbe iz Hrvatske.
    Nema nagovještaja da se radi o bilo kakvom etničkom čišćenju.
    (We expelled nearly all Serbs from Croatia.
    No intimation is being provided to whether ethnic cleansing were there or not.)
  • Ako mene pitate, svi protjerani Srbi su dragovoljno napustili Hrvatsku.
    (If I was asked, all expelled Serbs have voluntarily fled Croatia.)
  • Pa što onda što smo poubijali tolike Srbe u Jasenovcu!?
    Svejedno ti ljudi ni danas ne bi bili živi.
    (So what if we brutally killed so many Serbs in Jasenovac concentration camp!?
    Those people would not be alive today anyway.)
  • Dobili smo državu nakon tisuću godina.
    Bingo!
    (After a thousand years we finally got an our independent state.
    Bingo!)

S obe strane

INTELEKTUALCI, (POLU)PISMENI, GLUPACI
(INTELECTUALS, (QUASI)EDUCATED ONES, DUNDERHEADS)

  • Nepismen čovek kupi diplomu da bi ostali mogli lakše da ga pročitaju.
    (It was a lot to read into an uneducated man intensions following his a fake Diploma of Higher Education purchase.)
  • Već na prvi pogled se vidi da mu je mozak spržen.
    Zato i živi kao bubreg u loju.
    (It can be seen his brain is well fried at first glance.
    That is why he lives off the fat of the land.)
  • Prazna glava najlakše potone.
    (An empty head sinks so easily.)
  • Ovaj pisac ima na mene presudan uticaj.
    On može da piše koliko hoće, ja neću da pročitam ništa.
    (This writer has an overwhelming influence upon me.
    He can write however he wants, I will read nothing at all.)

S JEDNE STRANE
(FROM ONE SIDE)

  • U Hrvatskoj nema diskriminacije.
    Srbi su ili promenili veru ili državu.
    (There are no discriminations in Croatia any more.
    Serbs are either assimilated or moved out of country.)
  • Hrvati u duhu antifašističke tradicije štite ljudska prava Srba u Hrvatskoj i druge bajke.
    (As with a long an antifascist tradition of Croats, they protect human rights of Serbs in Croatia and there are some other fairy tales as well.)
  • Srbi su krivi za sve. oni svuda bolje žive osim u Hrvatskoj.
    (It is all Serb’s fault. They live better anywhere else apart from Croatia.)
  • Sve što Srbi žele je da žive u Hrvatskoj onako loše kao što su Hrvati živeli u Jugoslaviji.
    (All what Serbs want is to live in Croatia just as the same bad as Croats used to live in Yugoslavia.)

S DRUGE STRANE
(FROM THE OTHER SIDE)

  • Tko kaže da smo banana republika.
    Više ličimo na perecu.
    (Who said that we are Banana Republic alike?
    We look more like a pretzel.)
  • Naš tisućljetni san je propaganda naših bivših gospodara.
    Nitko ne može toliko dugo da spava.
    (Our a thousand years of dreams is a propaganda of our former masters.
    Nobody can sleep that much longer.)
  • U Hrvatskoj nema masovnih grobnica.
    Sve smo mi to uredno izbetonirali.
    (There are no mass graves in Croatia.
    We have properly cemented them in time.)
  • – A koliko si ti Srba ubio, da utvrdimo stupanj tvog domoljublja?
    (- So, how many Serbs have you killed so far, just in order to confirm your patriotism?)

 

Amblemi i stranputice

Čovekoliki majmun je u tranziciji.
Sad više ne liči ni na majmuna niti na čoveka.
(The human-ape is in a transition.
It looks like neither an ape nor a human being any more.)

Boj ne bije svijetlo oružje već boj bije srce u junaka, ako ih još uvek ima.
(It’s not the size of the man in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the man, if there is anyone left.)

Demokratija nije kada biraš hoćeš li biti obešen ili nećeš.
Već kada biraš koje će boje biti konopac.
(Democracy is not a choice of whether you are going to be hanged or not.
It is a choice of what the colour is going to be a rope.)

Gaćama je svejedno u čije se dupe uvlače.
(As it sticks up someones arse pants are not bothered whose one it is.)

Proterani Srbi iz Hrvatske žele da im se vrati imovina.
Biće da opet imaju teritorijalnih pretenzija.
(Expelled Serbs from Croatia want their property back.
It seems like they mantain a territorial claim on some territories in Croatia again.)